It’s a new year and you’ve just escaped the worldwide epidemic, known as 2016. It had been an extremely difficult and lonely year for me, and probably for most of you as well. Let’s hope 2017 is going to be better for all of us. Writing this blog has certainly made me feel better and filled in that void, knowing that I’m reaching out to others like me. Nevertheless, I’ve been told more than once that my blog has scared away all the potential people that want to date me and that I was truly single AF. While the comment has stayed with me to this day, I’ve tried playing it cool and laughing it off. But sometimes, I think it’s true. I am the single AF girl after all.
You know you’re single AF when all of your friends are in relationships or are seeing someone or the very least, in love with someone. And then there’s you, stuck as the eternal third wheel. Or the fifth. Or the seventh. And so on. Your friends’ partners have become your friends and you’ve sort of become adjusted to the whole third wheel setting. Them sucking faces in front of you doesn’t even
bother you as much as it used to.
You don’t have a plus one at parties/ get-togethers and sometimes are forced to take that person you only went out with twice, for an obligatory couple event. You often feel left out when your non-single friends start discussing relationships. You don’t even remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, making you unable to make a single contribution to the conversation.
You know you’re single AF when your friends start feeling bad for you and try to set you up with other people. And sometimes, you’ve half-heartedly agreed to talk to their friends, only to find out that this person isn’t for you. In fact, you’ve completely given up on dating at this point. You’d rather stay in and watch a good series than go out with that person you’ve been trying to avoid hanging out
with for the past three weeks.
There is nothing more annoying than being told to give your friends (whom you only have platonic friendships with) or some “nice” person you clearly aren’t interested in, a shot. Honestly, what part of “I’m sorry, I just don’t like him that way” or “I’m just not attracted to him” is so hard to understand? You don’t care if this person is “nice” or “really likes you”. You strictly believe that relationships cannot be one-sided, and you’d rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship. Being single for so long has taught you better.
This is when the people closest to you start to tell you that you’re too picky. Your parents have started to assume that you’re asexual or that you’re just too unlucky and have tried to give you tips and tricks on how to overcome your “condition” as if being single was some sort of disability.
You know you’re single AF when you’d rather not waste your time on a fling and settle for the real deal. There are moments when you do want that occasional hookup, but at one point you realize that it just isn’t for you. You refuse to settle for anything less and have become a very picky dater. You find it difficult to sacrifice your comfort zone for just anyone. It has taken you so long to get comfortable in your own skin, that you’d rather stay that way than waste time on another mindless idiot. You don’t mind going out alone, and being independent is a skill you have mastered.
You know you’re single AF, when your last real ex has been with a few people after you both were done. Your bitter feelings towards your exes slowly start to fade with time and you find yourself forgiving them, even when you were initially skeptical about the whole idea. You’ve become mature enough to not hold grudges against anyone. Sometimes you miss and laugh at the memories of when you were younger and more stupid. But you would never trade what you have now for those moments that weren’t meant to last.
There are moments when you truly wish you could change your status. No matter how comfortable you are by yourself, irregardless of how much you value your alone time, you do not fancy being lonely. You don’t mind going to the movies alone, but when you see that couple next to you, you can feel a bittersweet smile playing on your lips. That’s okay. Because someday, you’ll be glad you didn’t settle for less. You’ll be glad you waited. It’s all worth it in the end.